Drinking Fountain-ability

My colleague Jordan Tanner has recently commented on the plethora of "ability" type words that that have penetrated the vernacular of the broadcasting world. I've decided to jump on the band wagon to blog about one problem that is very wide spread. The problem of which I speak is a pernicious evil that has permeated nearly every university, high school, middle school, work place, and government establishment. One could say that this offense is one of the most widespread of problems in these the United States of America. The problem of which I speak is that of "water-bottle-filling-up" at the drinking fountain.
Many of you, my readers, may attest to the fact that drinking out of the tall drinking fountain is preferred 99 times out of 100. Recent studies by The American Society of Drinking Fountain Participants (ASDFP) have proved the veracity of these kind of statistics. So I believe you may agree with me when I say that seeing someone fill up their water bottle at the tall drinking fountain is something that can cause a wide range of emotions to be felt. Disappointment. Anger. Anxiety. Insecurity. Depression. These emotions have been seen to afflict thousands of Americans in their drinking fountain experiences. As a witness to these things, I would like to recount an experience I had today which I recorded in my journal.
"I was going to get a drink in the halls of the Tanner Building on the beautiful Brigham Young University Campus. As I approached the fountain I noticed the tall one was being used by a water bottle filler upper. I approached the small one only to see that it must have been about three feet off the ground. As I bent over to attempt to drink of its water, a wave of embarrassment came over me. Is my butt crack showing? Do I look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame stooped over at this ridiculous angle? These questions and more flooded my mind. Why? Why could this person not have used the small one to fill up his water bottle??"
It is because of this and other events that I am now blogging on the World Wide Internet about this problem. I hope others of like mind may join me in the fight to make the world aware of this problem.